Secret Santa
by Well of Allsparks
Summary: The third winter the Autobots spend on Earth is their first proper Christmas, celibrated with all the right traditions, including Secret Santa. Instead of Skids and Mudflap, here we have Sunny and Sides, and our very own Autobot-sized santa hat.


I give you my first holiday special, in third person. Not my favorite POV to write in, but, I thought it would fit best for my reasons. A little note, in here, Skids and Mudflap don't exist. Instead, it's Sunstreaker and Sideswipe (the infamous Sunny and Sides). I realize Sideswipe is in the movies, so let's pretend they two replaced the red and green twins, and then the movie Sideswipe doesn't exist. I say this because, here, he is red. Like he should be.

I hope you like it.

* * *

For the third time, snow fell around the U.S. military base of Diego Garcia. Inside, there were three types of people. On the western-most quarters, soldiers sulked as they were denied a trip home for the holidays. Farther eastward, three Autobots sat in the recreational room, preparing for their first Christmas. Twice before, their home had nearly emptied of their human companions, all in joyful spirits, and returned as new people. It was only this year that the third group had stayed behind, and joined the Autobots in their holiday celebrations.

The green and red adorned by the walls, in addition to a pine tree larger than what could have possibly fit into any normal home, baffled the base's permanent residence.

"Remind me again why there is a tree indoors?" Ratchet crossed his arms as four others spread decorations about it seemingly randomly.

"It's a tradition." a smaller voice replied. The boy's head poked up through the branches, putting the head count to six in the room. "Just go with it, Ratchet."

"Not at least until you tell me why I'm holding this." The grumpy medic raised his hand, and in it was the worst tangle of plastic green light strands ever known to mankind.

"I swear that's worse than when I gave it to you." Another human voice grumbled. Ratchet turned his attention to William Lennox, as he threw strands of garland at the tree. At the ends were various colors of bulbs to weigh the silver and blue fluff-strands down as he threw them like grenades. "Those go around the room, once it's untangled. That's why you've got them."

"I don't see how this could be untangled, from my scans, it's all inter-connected." Ratchet objected, pinching a single loop and holding it in the air. The lights held their form, not even giving to gravity.

"Then you better get started." Ironhide smirked at him, innocently holding Annabelle Lennox higher up to put the ribbons onto the tree. He was rewarded with a glare.

After that moment of silence, music came from yellow speakers.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas!" And from the above, white fluff fell onto them all. "It's the best time of the year."

But they were never to hear the next part, because a swift crack of metal in a very 'bah humbug' manner, everyone's favorite medic dropped the tangle of Christmas lights on the fallen scout. Samuel crawled out from under the tree again to find his guardian laughing manically on his back.

"That's not cool, man." William laughed with him.

"I'll give you these strange traditions, but if I see one of you in my med bay from frozen gears, you'll have a 'Holly jolly Christmas'." Ratchet grumbled. And with that, an over-sized, pointed, red hat fell down on top of his head. With fluffy white cotton around the rim and in a ball at the very tip, Santa Clause was still the last person anyone would say Ratchet reminded them of.

He whirled around to throw the ridiculous hat back into whoever put it there's face, but the amused face of their leader was not one he wanted to attack.

"Prime?" Ratchet demanded, surprised.

"Sarah made you an early Christmas present." Optimus explained, and Ratchet reluctantly put it back on. In his hand, Prime revealed a variety of different Santa hat sizes. Now on his feet, Bumblebee eagerly took his own, and a much smaller one to drop on his charge's head when he next emerged. Ironhide took the smallest for Annabelle, who laughed excitedly as hers gave a light jingle when it was shaken. The other present Lennox didn't react as well, even when his gave a similar jingle.

"What, none for 'Hide?" William demanded, wearing his all the same.

"Sarah insisted Ironhide had enough 'Christmas Cheer'." Optimus hinted, not the first to receive a glare from said mech. Earlier, when the decorating had only just began, Ironhide had taken Annabelle to hang garland about the room. A four-year-old armed with four cans of spray-sparkles in assorted reds, greens, and golds does not mix well with two cups of hot chocolate and six sugar cookies. Something Ironhide will not soon forget.

"What do you think, Prime?" Will stood back from where he'd been at the edge of the counter, right up to the tree. He hopped down to the ground and looked to Optimus for an answer. The tree was placed just between the human half and the Autobot half of the rec room.

"Isn't it missing something?" Optimus stepped up to the tree curiously and peered to the empty top. Beside him, his most loyal yellow scout presented a large, golden polygon with five points at equal distance all the way around. The tree topper, which appeared even a little large for their tree, was obviously homemade. And from dangerous items to boot.

"Please tell me none of this came from Wheeljack's lab." Ironhide let Annie down to rummage in the decoration's box before he cautiously poked the tree topper.

"Actually, Wheeljack made it." the familiar bodiless voice came from under the tree.

Half the room froze in fear then, but always giving his top scientist the benefit of the doubt, Optimus stepped up to the tree and fashioned it to the top branches. Holding under the weight, the tree was now complete and even Ratchet had to give a smile at the sight. After a moment of silent admiring, the good mood was quickly soiled.

"Now if only the tree skirt was in place." Ironhide was promptly rewarded with a small kick to his foot.

"Do you know how hard it is to get a seven-foot piece of fabric around the bottom of a tree, and for it to lay flat? While you've got about two feet of space under a bunch of poking branches?." Sam complained. "It's hard."

"Do you need any help?" Bumblebee asked curiously, kneeling down to peek under to his friend.

"No... I got it." He cried triumphantly, diving from under the tree as fast as he could. He left the ground moments after and took his place on Bumblebee's shoulder to admire the tree.

"It's lopsided." Ironhide cocked his head to the side. Sam may have been out of reach, but Bumblebee could practically read his mind; reaching over to punch 'hide in the arm.

"Peace." Optimus insisted. "If you're done here, perhaps you'd like to join the rest of us?"

"I have to return to my med bay." Ratchet said quickly. "Some of us don't get to put work on hold for the holidays."

"Scrooge." Will muttered.

"What's a 'scrooge'?" Ironhide asked, the only one to hear it.

Will laughed once, "Nothing. No one."

In the main hanger, the six of them rejoined the other six. As twelve, plans were made for Christmas to come. But, on a military base mostly full of alien robots, a gift exchange might be difficult.

"How about a secret Santa?" Sarah suggested, biting off the thread on her last hat.

"Secret Santa?" Wheeljack questioned, unfamiliar with the term. But, apparently Optimus was not.

"Each of our names are put together, and everyone draws a name. What name they took is kept secret, and they are responsible for getting a present for just whoever they drew." Prime explained. "When it's time for gift exchange, only then is it revealed who got who a gift."

"Sounds fun." Jolt grinned. "How are we going to do this? Should I go get Ratchet?"

"No. He'll get whatever name is left over." Sam insisted, still in his perch on Bumblebee's shoulder. "Oh, and if you get your own name, put it back and get a new one."

"There has to be a story behind that." Wheeljack turned to the boy curiously. Bumblebee's shoulders were moving as he tried to stifle his laugh, remembering Sam's school secret Santa last year. For Bumblebee, this was not his first Christmas. He's spent it twice before with the Witwicky family.

"Yeah, but you're not going to hear it." Sam wrinkled his nose, trying to hold on so he didn't fall.

"Alright, I've got thirteen pieces of paper." Sarah held up. Her husband took one away.

"We're not going to include Annie."

"Hey!" the young girl objected, reaching up to take the paper from her father.

"Your mom and I already got you a present. This is just so you don't have to get anyone else a present, since we can't help you." Will insisted, but gave her the paper anyways. He took out a pen and handed it over. She happily sat on the ground nearby to draw.

"Alright, I think I got everyone down." Sarah had folded each paper during moments of silence. "What are we going to put it in?" It had to be big enough the Autobots could take a paper out of.

"Here, I've got an empty crate." Arcee rolled over. There was strange white powder in the corners, slowly melting to turn the wood darker. A little suspicious, but nevertheless, the snow was covered by twelve folded papers.

"Squishies first." Ironhide insisted in a polite voice. He received another kick in the foot, this time from his own partner; Will. Will, however, imitated him perfectly.

"Ladies first." he gave a smile to Sarah. She rolled her eyes and reached in to take a paper. Without looking at it, she tucked it into her coat pocket. Will reached in next, then Bumblebee let Sam down to take one out before taking one himself. Sideswipe took one, Arcee, Sunstreaker, Wheeljack, Jolt, then Ironhide, and last, Optimus chose from the remaining two. He took the last, holding it where it was folded, and looked to the rest of the group.

"I will take Ratchet his." he walked out.

"Not that he doesn't trust the rest of us." Sunstreaker muttered for all to hear.

"Who'd you get?" Sideswipe asked excitedly, looking over his brother's shoulder. Moving suspiciously slow, Sunstreaker hid his paper.

"You're not supposed to see."

The rest of the group shared a resigned look and similar sigh. "This won't be any good." Jolt mused, tearing his paper into several pieces, then vaporizing them with his unique electric ability.

"Well, I'm heading out." Sam said suddenly. "And no cheating with the scanners, for anyone." he looked at them all, even his trusted guardian. "Got it?"

"Trust is, Samuel." Wheeljack insisted. "Is it that hard?"

"I trust you to keep me alive..." he started, "Just not with playing fair. I'll be back later." he waved, running out of the room. Behind him, he left a room of suspicious aliens and humans, none trusting another. The only one not effected by the sudden war was little Annie, scratching some picture on her piece of paper in blue pen.

O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O

Outside, the sun had set and the sky was full of thousands of beautiful, giant balls of burning gas thousands of light-years away. Or, as the residence of the planet would find more appealing, the sky was full of thousands of beautiful, twinkling stars. A certain chill in the air and patterns on the windows told it the season.

Inside, it was nearly just as silent. For hours had passed before the last human and Autobot had returned to their quarters for the night, each of their gifts appropriately wrapped and hidden where only they may know where it is until the morning. Better, most had returned to their quarters. All save for two living sparks. One, that of a human, hadn't been in his quarters for several weeks. Instead, he'd unofficially moved in with another. On the table, there was half the contents of his own quarters. Including a bed, in which he slept in peacefully at this hour of the night.

The other, however, was not just in someone else's room, sleeping the night away like he should. Instead, two blue lights could be found in the pitch-darkness of the halls, creeping silently and with practiced stealth towards his destination.

O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O

"AAAAAHHHHYEEEEEEE!" Waking to the tell-tale sound of a child screaming in delight is only another Christmas tradition William and Sarah Lennox insisted the Autobots experience. An hour before Annie woke, they'd brought the intercom microphone into her room, and taped it on. Therefore, with sweet satisfaction, the two parents weren't the only tired eyes standing there as Annabelle came running down the hall into the rec room at six-thirty in the morning.

"Can I open it now?" The little girl whined.

"Not yet." her mother insisted, patting the spot on the couch next to her, on the human half. "We're waiting for everyone to get here."

"No, Sam didn't get to sleep until past midnight." Bumblebee shook his head. "I want him to sleep a bit longer."

"I don't know if we're going to be able to hold Annie off much longer." Will objected.

"Well, if you want to go wake him up, be my guest. He went back to his room last night." Bumblebee insisted.

"The boy's in his room?" Ratchet asked, skeptically. Bumblebee nodded, his Santa hat bouncing slightly.

"Yeah, I remember him telling me he'd be there."

"So all we're waiting on is Wheeljack." Optimus took a seat next to Bumblebee on the sofa opposite Sarah and Annabelle. They sat at angles, next to the Christmas tree. Another sofa was tilted at countering angles on the other end, to seat the rest of the group as they took their places.

"No, I'm here. I just finished this morning-" Wheeljack filled the last open seat, between Arcee and Jolt.

"Oh, great. Your gift is a blown-off face, isn't it?" Ironhide cut him off. Wheeljack ignored him and started again.

"I just finished this borning, who's going first?"

"I thought we'd go in a chain, and we'll start with a volunteer." Optimus suggested. Bumblebee raised his hand excitedly, the persona of the excited spirit in the air. For the first time these three years, the Autobots were experiencing the irrational joy they found their human companions returning with every year before.

"Arcee." Bumblebee motioned to with his gift, small enough to hold in the palm of one hand. She sat up, excited and caught it.

"I'm guessing it isn't fragile then?" she laughed, setting her wrapped gift aside to open it. Everyone watched as the first gift was opened.

The grin on her face old Bumblebee did a good job. "Thank you."

She pulled out a simple, earth, music player. It came with several disks, but the controls could be accessed with equipment she already had installed. Eagerly, she continued the cycle and handed Will the box she'd wrapped.

"A sweater?" he held it up, confused.

"I researched Christmas traditions, and found one saying someone always gets an ugly sweater." she explained. They all laughed and Will tugged the green, brown, and white thing over his head.

"Well, now I'm warm. Thank you, Arcee." he exaggerated and tossed a larger box to Jolt.

It was a large, empty, wooden box. Or, so it appeared.

"Ah..." Jolt held it upside down, nothing happened. "Thanks?"

"Do your electric thing to the metal ring inside." Will insisted. Doing so, the room was thrown into a sustained ocean of flowing lights. Like an aurora, the ring had something special about it that made the inside of the box look like flowing energon. And decorative slots around the sides made designs show on the walls if it was held straight, the one in front being the Autobot emblem.

"Wow." Jolt gasped in surprise. He only had to shock it once, it was self-sustaining. But he smothered the ripples of heat running around the metal ring, and all the lights faded. "That was cool."

"I had Wheeljack's help. That's why it was late." Will explained.

Jolt, keeping the line going, handed Sideswipe a small box. Sideswipe, eagerly shaking it, was rewarded with a pathetic *flop*. He tore off the ordinary brown paper and opened the box, to find four cans of spray paint. The entire room groaned.

"Jolt!" Bumblebee objected.

"Thank you." Sideswipe gave an evil cackle and took one out, aiming it straight at Ironhide's face. He pushed his arm away so it sprayed at empty air, turning the ground behind the couch an uneven orange color. Instead of paint in his face, Ironhide instead received a present.

"This can't be good." he muttered, opening it slowly. But it was just a fold-up target for solid-projectiles... in the shape of the Decepticon emblem. "Thanks, for not giving me a wild turkey or something-"

"That would have been perfect!" Sunstreaker punched his brother in the arm. "Why didn't you do that?"

"I guess I'm just feeling the Christmas spirit." Sideswipe shrugged, and the two of them shared a look no one in the room liked. Ironhide gave Optimus his present quickly.

Optimus laughed to hold up the metal, abstract sculpture of a large figure and a small figure. It was obviously made by being fired at, but the words at the bottom told it was thought through. New family, new home.

"Thank you, Ironhide." He handed a medium sized box to Sarah, who opened it quickly and held up a silver, metal wrist-band with a blue emblem on the top. "It's time you got your own badge." he explained as she put it on and held it up.

"Thank you so much. Now I'm one of the team." she grinned excitedly. Will gave her a one-armed hug, showing off his own. It was a different version, but it was Autobot issues, and Autobot accepted, rather than a government-issued pin that meant nothing in this room. She held hers toward Sunstreaker, and he leaned over to take it.

"Thank you." he was keeping a straight face as he opened it and accepted the remote-controlled helicopter. The remote part could be hacked by his own gear, and the group seemed to accept it better than the spray paint Sideswipe had suspiciously set aside.

Susntreaker stood up, and walked the largest of the presents towards Bumblebee, keeping his straight face, and walked back. Without a thought, he tore the paper off to reveal a special foil wrapping that deflected any scans.

He ripped that off, and then, pulled back the cardboard flaps to reveal his own present.

Out of the box came a, "Permission to kill Sunstreaker?"

* * *

Did you get it? Did you get it? It sort of dragged on, acting like nothing was really happening. Then, at the end, I hope you got it, you find out that Sam was not, in fact, in his own room on the human side of the base, but, he was kidnapped by Sunstreaker in the middle of the night and wrapped up as a present.

Not implied in any way in the story, but what happened: I couldn't figure out how to put this in, while ending it here like I wanted, but Sideswipe was in on it. He messed with Bumblebee's mind to make him think Sam told him he was going to his own room for the night. Didn't actually happen, but there you are.

Merry Christmas, R&R.


End file.
